Different MediationStrokes For Different Mediation Folks

Every divorce and family mediator is dedicated to the principle known as "Self-Determination". That means that couples should be the ones who make all decisions related to their separation or divorce issues, and not some outside third party such as a judge or a lawyer. The role of the mediator is to help the couples discuss the issues and reach agreements, if possible.

There are three main styles of mediation: "Transformative", "Facilitative" and "Evaluative". In Transformative Mediation the emphasis is not necessarily on reaching agreement. It is more concerned with the relationship between the parties and helping them recognize each others needs, interests and points of view. In Transformative Mediation the parties are in charge of the process and the outcome. Transformative mediators do not speak to the parties separately (known an"caucus").

In Facilitative Mediation the mediator structures the process to try to make sure that the parties reach agreement based on information and understanding. Some facilitative mediators may speak to the parties separately, but they do not make suggestions on what to do, nor do they make recommendations as to what the parties should agree to.

Evaluative Mediation is a process similar to the one used by judges to convince the parties' lawyers to get their clients to settle. Evaluative mediators may point out the weaknesses of the parties' cases or make recommendations of what the parties should agree to. Evaluative mediaotrs caucus with the parties regularly.

When choosing a mediator, you should ask him or her what style they use (many mediators combine aspects of one or more styles, but have one principle approach), and you should consider which of those approaches would work best for you before you start.